Try it - It's worth a laugh! My new name is Sloopy Chickenpants

MY NEW NAME IS IN THE SUBJECT.....DON'T LAUGH UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHAT YOUR NEW NAME IS

We all need a little stress-reliever! This only takes a minute.

Please don't be a bore & ruin it. Send it on to everyone you know including the person that sent it to you.

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. If we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not.

Here is your dose of humor...

A. Follow the instructions to find your new
name.

B. Once you have your new name, put it in the
subject box and forward it to friends and
family & co-workers.

Don't forget to forward it back to the person who sent it to you
so they know you participated.

And don't go all adult - a senior manager is now known far & wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer!

The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

So:-

1. Use the third letter of your fi rst name to
determine your New first name:

a snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d cheesey
e crusty
f greasy
g dumbo
h farcus
i dorky
j doofus
k funky
l boobie
m sleezy
n sloopy
o fluffy
p stinky
q slimy
r dorfus
s snooty
t tootsie
u dipsy
v sneezy
w liver
x skippy
y = dink y
z zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a dippin
b feather
c batty
d burger
e chicken
f barffy
g lizard
h waffle
i farkle
j monkey
k flippin
l fricken
m bubble
n rhino
o potty
p hamster
q buckle
r gizzard
s lickin
t snickle
u chuckle
v pickle
w hubble
x dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdl e

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a butt
b boob
c face
d nose
e hump
f breath
g pants
h shorts
i lips
j honker
k head
l tush
m chunks
n dunkin
o brains
p biscuits
q toes
r doodle
s fanny
t sniffer
u sprinkles
v frack
w squirt
x humperdinck
y hiney
z juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.

Now when you SEND THIS ON...use your new name as the subject.

And remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day.
Put more laughter in your day!!!

Laughing at Technology

Three Ladies in a Sauna

Sometimes it can be depressing with the way technology is going at such a fast pace, so when my niece sent me this email I thought it was worth sharing. YOU JUST HAVE TO LAUGH SOMETIMES - I apologize if it offends anyone but yes SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO LAUGH ... IT'S HEALTHIER!!!

THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.
SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.
A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.'
THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.
THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.
THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID.........WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT....
I'M GETTING A FAX!!

Life is a BuZZZZZ!!!!

Hi - well after a very busy weekend another week of our life begins - THIS IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE so ENJOY! Life is so busy most of the time these days, and buzzing it can be! But, whether it is a good buzz or a miserable buzz is up to you. Sure there are some things we can't control but if we let these mirerable buzzes get to us and ruin a moment in our precious life which can't be replaced, we are behind a step or two, or 3 or 4 even!. If it is a negative miserable buzz ask yourself how can I turn this around to reap the benefits of it, not dwell on the downside. How can I best relate to this incident to benefit others and/or myself, to make me a better person, thus enabling me to be a bonus to others. You don't have to be a hero - just a positive inspiration to someone else.

You might think that is a minor benefit but to another person alot less fortunate than you, just helping out is a huge boost to a low moral. Our pastor on Sunday was speaking about how generosity releases blessings - not necessariy for ourselves but for so many around us. Don't do things just to receive blessings though, but be aware that blessing another's otherwise miserable situation is all that matters. Pick up something for an old person - it is a real effort to bend down at that age. Let someone in line move in front of you. Pay for the person behind you at the toll booth! Imagine that! Make a meal - not even for someone in need - just do it for anyone who comes to mind. So now as you go out and face the world today, life can be a BuZZZZZ - A Great BuZZZZZZZZ - it's entirely up to you!

God Bless You & Yours
Jenny

WEDDING THINGS

GOT A WEDDING COMING UP .... ON A BUDGET ???

www.weddingthings-makeyourown.com
www.weddingthings-makeyourown.com
www.weddingthings-makeyourown.com
www.weddingthings-makeyourown.com
www.weddingthings-makeyourown.com
www.weddingthings-makeyourown.com

LIFE JUST FLIES BY !!!

Hello again - I can't believe how this week has flown and I haven't spoken to you - SHAME ON ME - SorrrrrrY !!!!!!!!!!! I really am - how are you all anyway? I had a bit of a downer yesterday - don't know why but that happens. I remembered what I have told you all in the past and that it is all to do with 'attitude' - so I took some advice from ME and applied it and it helped - I also visited my daughter and she built me up again. We are all human and need encouragement from time to time. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ... here goes ... If you are having a downer more often than not - walk outside - or get in the car and drive or just take a walk - go and visit someone you love to be with or ladies go shopping! Just change the scenery and remember you are breathing and are alive. I know we all have different circumstances and everything is not possible for everyone, but make the most of what
you have and live this day to the fullest. Do something for someone who is less fortunate. No matter what you are going through right now there are always many millions more out there alot worse off than you. Keep up that attitude and remember you are only human but any human can improve! Luv you !!!! Have a good one. Check out these sites too before you go ...

http://www.blinds-curtains-make-your-own.com
http://www.breastcancer-partners-advice.com
http://www.childrens-puzzle-making.com
OR JUST CLICK ON THE LINKS "I NEED YOUR ADVICE?" ON THE RIGHT

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HOW TO SAFEGUARD YOURSELF AGAINST ILLNESS AND THEIR SIDE EFFECTS

HOW ?

"Well", you might ask; "I have heard it all before - so many stories, documentaries, films and so on, on how to prevent getting illness in your lifetime."

Believe it or not - and I hope you believe it, or at least try to apply it enough to believe it, it can be done.

There are several aspects to survival in this crazy life of ours but today I am going to concentrate on one of them ... YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM!

Now, you are probably saying "I have heard this before too" BUT WAIT !!! Before you decide to clean toilets in disgust, go shoe shopping or do whatever else you do to fill in precious time that you won't get back, take this moment in your precious time to hear what I have to say. It's not that hard really and it doesn't cost much money or time to apply. Is your life worth that little - come on - stay with me on this one. Your Longevity depends on it.

First of all picture this - a Sleek, Red, Shiney Sports Car parked right in your driveway. Imagine you have won this or been given this gorgeous creature - IT'S YOUR'S! Now you can zip around, all spiffy and trendy looking as ever. You take the time to rade your wardrobe in order to dress appropriately to suit this zippy vehicle. Then you grab your bag and run excitedly for your Ego-Packed venture to show the world who you have become in this sexy machine!

FEELING GOOD HAH! ? !

You slowly slide into the comfy cream leather seat, check the rear-vision mirror to see who is checking you out, and slowly slide the gold lined key into the ignition, turning, turning and again, turning the key to begin the journey of a lifetime. NOTHING! - NO NOICE - NO CHUG-A-CHUG - NO GURGLE - NO NOTHING! Mmmmmmmmmmm!

Finally you manage to work out how to open the bonnet, without chipping or breaking your freshly painted nails; just for show I might add, and there for all the world to see is a bunch of machinery covered in oil-infested-dust or dust-infested-oil, whichever! You quickly grab your mobile and phone your mechanic friend who comes and gives you the VERDICT ... NO OIL, WRONG PETROL, MISSING WIRES AND ENDLESS OTHER SYMPTOMS, which now prevents any kind of Life Journey you were so depending on. SOME GIFT - NO GOOD TO ANYONE LIKE THIS ...

Does this sound familiar - can you see where I am coming from?

Exactly - We too get excited to live our life as a fun, zippy, sleek adventure machine and bingo - something like an illness or physical setback haults all in your path!

I repeat for the second time today - HOW DO YOU PREVENT ILLNESS IN YOUR LIFE - HOW DO YOU SAFEGUARD AGAINST THIS !!! ???

Just like the beautiful looking, sleek, red sports car, unreal looking on the outside anyway, you are landed with outer beauty BUT inner mess. We are so busy looking after our outward appearance, forgetting full well that it won't be very beautiful if we are a bundled up unhealthy caotic nothing!

First of all take one step at a time. Begin today by applying the following few easy life tasks. Then check back with me each day for as long as it takes for more extensive ways to

LIVE LONGER HEALTHIER !

Apart from the unnecessary unhealthy habits you have acquired over the years apply these in addition to your normal routine. Just be sensible!

1. Wake up and say thank and smile - LAUGH if you need to.

2. Drink a tall glass of purified water - then during or after breakfast take a good antioxidant. I take Grapeseed 12,000mg with combined Pinebark - very highly recommneded by my Health Food store and GP.

3. Drink Green Tea or even herbal with green tea in them, for better tasting. One I have found to be very pleasant in two different flavours is from Herbalife called Herbalife Shape Works Instant Herbal Beverage - green tea based and very energizing for the day ahead, not to mention how good it is for you nutritionally!

4. Drink 6 - 8 glasses of purified water - combine it with aloe juice prefereably - 3 capfuls per day.

NOW GET PLENTY OF SLEEP AND CHECK IN TOMORROW!!!

seee ya !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOVE ... LOVE "YOU" FOR EVERYONE'S SAKE !

LOVE - LIFE - LAUGHTER
Essential Ingredients to Good Health! Love, Life & Laughter - Sounds wonderful doesn't it?Have you ever really thought about the true meaning of each of these valuable words; in your words only; solely relating to you.Let us exam "Love" first. I believe, and you would probably have to agree, you can't have Life and Laughter successfully without the most important "Love".To Love is to be Loved first. You know the saying "Love, love your brother, as much as you love yourself". Well it is true. If you don't LIKE who you are, which really is a stronger verb than LOVE then you really have less chance of liking or loving someone else very much at all.

So how do we do this 'LOVE YOURSELF' or 'LIKE YOURSELF' thing successfully.First and foremost you must make sure the relationship you have with yourself is unconditional. Don't BEAT yourself up over small insignificant things. None of us are perfect - all of us have faults, just some more than others. We must learn to accept every aspect of "ME" (YOU) - every simple tiny detail. We don't necessarily have to like everything, as that allows room for a CHANGE - IMPROVEMENT even. That's a good thing; a Healthy Thing."Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the future different." as quoted by Gary Chapman in THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES. Therefore be open to the fact that you will perform acts you utterly dislike about yourself and regret will be a major possibility, but if you recognise these acts and forgive yourself of them, then you will be able to move forward, thus making your future different. We must Learn from our Mistakes and make every mistake benefit our future. Don't waste mistakes with regret - prosper with excitement of a lesson learnt improving everything in your path for tomorrow. Life really is an amazing adventure and if we look at every moment of it with excitement, even in the tough times, we will succeed.So accept yourself unconditionally, love yourself unconditionally, & enjoy your life unconditionally. This brings me to the next point.'LIFE' - Fun, Disaster, enjoyment, disappointment, laughter etc. etc. As different a life each one of us has from the other, we all experience many different angles to many different situations. How we deal with those completely satisfying or disastrous situations is the crucial point to the destiny of our "LIFE"!A positive outlook on a negative situation can only make the unwanted, hard to deal with situation, much easier to resolve, not to mention, live through. A positive outlook on a positive situation can only enhance the outcome by 150% at least. Both situations end up with a much better 'MOVE FORWARD WITH A SMILE OF CONTENTMENT' outlook on Life.Which leads me to the next paragraph "LAUGHTER". This, I believe, is the Cream on Top of the whole recipe to Good Health; the essential ingredient that sits up high oozing down through all the above, flavouring, sweetening and softening all to a totally, healthy blissful life!Laughter is the medicine that makes a healing power totally possible. The old saying 'It takes more effort to Smile than to Frown' only enhances the fact that a wiser person is a happier person. If you have the energy and willpower to smile and laugh through the most difficult and life stretching moments, you have the very recipe for great wisdom, strength, positive ingenuity, and a total understanding of the meaning of LOVE, LIFE & LAUGHTER!Take all of the above and gulp it, swallow it and completely digest it into a healthy love and life stream, which will only result in complete satisfaction of your heart. Try the Special Recipe of Life - it really does work!

You'll find more in the FREE Ebook ... See Below ...

Here's to Great Health ...
not just Good Health ... GREAT HEALTH !

CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT !!!